This month’s Glass(es) Half Full post is written by Rhonda Caudell. Rhonda is a relationship and communication expert who helps families work through caregiving solutions. She believes developing long-term strategies and focusing on the positive of caregiving, rather than the negative, can tremendously help families confront what can often be an emotional time. For more information on Rhonda’s Endless Legacy coaching services, visit her website! Read on for her expert guidelines and advice on:

Rosalynn Carter once said: “There are only four kinds of people in the world, those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” If you are a caregiver or are just beginning to see signs that your aging parent is losing their ability to live independently in a safe manner, you are not alone. As the population ages and more people develop chronic illnesses, the number of adults who find themselves caring for a sick or elderly family member continues to increase.

Another common thread among these adults is that no matter your age, education, or life experiences, most people are at a loss when it comes to the “how-to” steps of caring for aging parents. If you still have one or both parents living and you choose to accept the fact that they may need your help as they continue to age, I offer you the following list of helpful strategies and tips. This methodology behind caregiving can positively affect both their future and yours!

Note: Perhaps you are already a parent caregiver and things aren’t going so well. If that’s the case, use these guidelines to help change your strategy as if you are starting all over.

1. Assess the conversations you currently have with your parent(s):

• Do you do most of the talking, or do they?

• What are they saying, or not saying, about their future?

• Are you truly using your best listening skills during conversations?

• Does what they say and what they do match?

• Is it difficult to get them to consider the possibility of needing help?

• Do they treat you as if you are still their child and not a responsible adult?

• Do you speak to them as if they are a child?

2. Adapt conversations and develop strategies that lead to a long-term care plan:

• Ask questions and listen in a way that will allow your parents to open up to you about how they want to live out their final years.

• Write down what they say even if it is not realistic. Your goal is to help them find a plan as close as possible to what they want, while keeping in mind what is realistic.

• Have a family meeting to set guidelines for the future.

• Reaffirm that all actions are from love and respect for the parents and will only be taken with their permission.

• Plan steps and actions that will allow them to remain as independent as possible for as long as possible.

• Solicit anyone’s help who is willing and list what actions they can provide.

• Gather your team of professionals to help: legal, financial, in-home care providers, physicians, pharmacists, and social service providers (to name a few).

• Identify others to help: church members, neighbors, friends, or extended family.

3. Implement the plan and adapt as situations change:

• Create a communication system that allows everyone on the team to get regular updates and report the results of their actions.

• Have backup plans and crisis prevention where possible.

If you work through these guidelines and still, none of your efforts seem to be working, it might be time to seek the assistance of an objective party. Get in touch with someone of integrity and authority who your parents trust, a professional conflict mediator, or a skilled geriatric care professional to help work through tough issues.

Thank you Rhonda for these helpful tips on developing an effective and thoughtful caregiving strategy! For more guidance from Rhonda, head on over to her coaching site Endless Legacy. 

Midlife can and should be the best years of our lives, but they can often fall short if we let life get in the way. To ensure they are the best, Readers.com asked topic experts to share special advice on everything from healthy living to planning for retirement. Our experts’ uplifting stories will inspire you to approach every situation with a Glass(es) Half Full mentality, so check back each month for more in this series and like us on Facebook for additional tips!

Today’s post features a professional who is more than just your typical career coach. Laura Schlafly has a passion for guiding midlife professionals through career changes. Whether her clients want to switch fields, build a new career from scratch, or simply investigate their opportunities, Laura has the experience to help them! She’s successfully switched career paths five times and wants to share what she’s learned with other midlife professionals. Read more about Laura’s story on her Career Choices website and check out her excellent advice on searching for a new job below!

If you’re over 50, you might remember the 1970s television series, Columbo, starring Peter Falk as the Los Angeles homicide detective, Lt. Columbo. Every episode began with the commission of a crime. We all knew the perpetrator from scene one. The thrill was not from finding out who the criminal was, but watching Columbo work backwards and solve the case, clue by clue.

Searching for a new job can often feel like solving a case. In order to land on the right opportunity, you have to do some digging as you piece together the clues of your job search. Use these six crime-solving techniques, just like Lt. Columbo, to lead you in the right direction on your career detour.

1. Design your career first.

Search for the job only after you know what you want. This key point applies to everything, from custom crafting your resume, to targeting the companies you want to work for and the people you want to interview. Single-minded focus is the key here. Columbo always started his detective work with the outcome, then looked for the clues that led to it.

2. Pay attention to workplace fit.

This is important so that you don’t accidentally end up in the wrong job. Analyze what you enjoy, how you work, and what kind of work makes you proud. Jobs that showcase your talents and brilliance are where you should focus. Columbo’s work style was perfectly on point. His unassuming, affable manner always kept the perpetrator off guard.

3. Look for opportunities that present problems you know how to solve.

If you’re over 50, you have expert knowledge that an employer needs to tackle problems. This is your advantage over younger workers. Find companies facing challenges where your experience gives you an edge. Just like Columbo, be persistent and ask the right questions when researching opportunities.

4. Don’t cast a wide net.

By the time you hit midlife, you probably have expertise in more than one area. Yes, do research the jobs that fit, but hold back on applying until you’ve defined what you want. Remember, a well-aimed rifle is more effective than shotgun spray. This is how Columbo would do it — working from general to more specific clues as he closed in on his suspect.

5. Search creatively.

Columbo would never follow a single trail of inquiry. Likewise, just replying to online postings is no way to find a job. Managers prefer to interview and hire people they know, or who are referred by people they trust, so don’t wait until a job in your desired company is made public. Connect in advance with the decision makers and give them a concise proposal of results you could deliver. When a position does open, you are already known, which is much more effective than any resume.

6. Repeat steps 1-5.

Columbo kept after the suspect, with his classic line, “Just one more thing…” That’s pestering — your strategy is persisting. It’s easy to throw in the towel after a rejection and focus on the negative. Instead, keep it positive by using neutral statements like “another candidate was selected” and remembering that you are one step closer to a “yes.” It’s not a crime to get a “no,” but it’s criminal not to keep at it.

Laura, thank you so much for sharing your expertise with our Readers family! Don’t forget, you can read more of Laura’s career advice on her website. 

Midlife can and should be the best years of our lives, but they can often fall short if we let life get in the way. To ensure they are the best, Readers.com asked topic experts to share special advice on everything from healthy living to planning for retirement. Our experts’ uplifting stories will inspire you to approach every situation with a Glass(es) Half Full mentality, so check back each month for more in this series and like us on Facebook for additional tips! 

Andy Gilchrist is a style expert from Southern California, author of the book The Encyclopedia of Men’s Clothes, and owner and editor of the high-trafficking men’s fashion site Ask Andy About Clothes. After working in men’s retail, Andy realized there was a need for a comfortable space in which men could ask their questions about style and fashion without feeling embarrassed. As a solution, Andy created his website! Ask Andy About Clothes continues to grow as more men take to the forums with their fashion conundrums. We asked Andy to share his style knowledge with us by dishing out some expert advice of his own. Read on for Andy’s fashion tips for men over 40!

Andy’s Style Tips for Men Over 40

1.  Always look your best

Think clothes don’t matter? Every time you leave the house or answer the door bell, dress  as if you are headed for a potential job interview. This of course can be casual dress (but nice casual), since we’re talking about going to the grocery store and running errands. You just never know who you might meet when you’re out in public!

2.  Say no to “Dad Jeans”

The ubiquitous jeans do not look good on most people. Have you heard of “Mom Jeans?” Well, “Dad Jeans” look bad, too. Replace them with khakis for casual outfits and dress trousers for more formal occasions.

3. Embrace your natural hair

Are you balding? Do you have grays? Bald looks best bald — just say no to combovers or wigs. Being bald is very masculine and actually has an appeal for the ladies. Gray also looks great and is much better than fake dark hair dye.

4.  Stylish socks

When you’re wearing business attire or dressing up for formal events, make sure your socks match the color of your trousers.

5.  Hat rules

Always remove your hat or cap when you enter a building, when the National Anthem is playing, and especially when you’re inside eating.

6.  Match your accessories

Belts and shoes should always match in color and fabric. For example, wear brown leather shoes with a brown leather belt.

7. Button up, not down

Never button the bottom button of your suit, sport jacket, vest, or cardigan sweater.

8.  Fit trumps all

When you’re picking out clothes, make sure what you wear is appropriate for the occasion and fits you well! Fit is the most important part of clothing. Inexpensive clothing, like a suit or jacket, can look just as great as its expensive counterpart if it’s been tailored to fit you perfectly.

9.  Become a color and pattern expert

Different colors and patterns flatter and accentuate your body in different ways. Vertical stripes play up height and slenderize. Simple patterns or solids in dark colors also look slimming. On the other hand, bold patterns expand anything they wrap.

10. Be careful with your billfold

Sitting on a bulky billfold can cause nerve and muscle damage that can lead to back pain. Clean out your billfold often. Carry two thin wallets in each of your front trouser pockets. You can even sort the important stuff like your driver’s license, credit cards, and cash from the insignificant — and hand over the insignificant wallet if you ever get mugged!

Thank you to Andy for sharing his advice. You’ve inspired us to always look our best!